It was Theodore Roosevelt who said “comparison is the thief of joy”, smart man I must say. Google defined comparison as a consideration or estimate of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people. The comparison game is as old as humanity and it is very natural to compare yourself with others once in a while but at the same time it isn’t good for your wellbeing.
We live in an era where it is pretty difficult not to compare ourselves with others because of the internet, we think our body isn’t good enough, our wardrobe isn’t trendy enough and with time we start to think that we aren’t good enough. One day I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw a lady who is the same age as I am, who had achieved so much and I remember thinking to myself “your mates are out there making big moves and you are here, that’s just pathetic”, I was gloomy throughout that day. Thomas Mussweiler, a professor of organizational behavior, describes comparison as one of the most basic ways we develop an understanding of who we are, what we’re good at and what we’re not so good at.
I know some of y’all would say, you never compare yourself with anyone but sorry to burst your bubble we all do it just to some extent knowingly or unknowingly. Some of us decide to be witches with the whole comparison thing, you talk down or get annoyed by the success of people around you. Well today I am going to be giving y’all tips on how to minimize or better yet totally stop this terrible habit of comparison.
1. Awareness: some of us aren’t aware of when we compare ourselves, we need to be cautious of this habit so we would be able to stop ourselves when we find ourselves doing it. If you focus on these thoughts for a few days, it gets much easier with practice and soon it would be hard not to notice.
2. Practice Gratitude: count your blessings. I urge you to get your journal and write down 10 things you are truly grateful for and 5 things you love about yourself. Writing that down would make you realize how much of a unique and one of a kind person you are.
3. Accept imperfection: absolutely no one is perfect, we hear that all the time but we don’t seem to assimilate it. You would never be perfect, I have come in terms with that and you need to come to terms with that also. Sure improve yourself but never think you would be perfect, there would always be someone better than you.
4. Focus on your strengths: instead of sulking and feeling bad about your weakness, discover what your strengths are and celebrate them. Use your strengths to shine, the sky is a vast space for you to shine darling.
5. Don’t be a witch: don’t try to knock people down be it physically or verbally. Be happy with peoples success, and celebrate with people. Sometimes you criticize other people so you could look or feel good about yourself, well STOP IT!. Celebrating people would open doors for you, don’t be bitter.
6. Focus on your journey: the funny thing is life isn’t a competition, it’s a journey. Run your own race at your pace, we are all on a quest to find something, to be become something, to learn and to create. Improve and challenge yourself every single day of your time on earth. Be you! Be authentic! That’s what sells, that’s what would put you on the map.
7. Be content: like the Bible said the most important commandment is “love thy neighbor as thyself”. With this you would be able to be happy with what you are and what you have, because without it no matter the number of bags, shoes, houses or money you possess you would always want more. You would never be happy, because you want what other people have and loose sight of what you already have.
You’ve got to understand that you are phenomenal and beautiful just as you are, people around you know this you just have to know it too. The funny thing about social media is that nobody shows you what they don’t want you to see, social media is a happy place no one shows you the battle they are fighting on the internet. So don’t be deceived by the glitz and glam, all that glitters isn’t gold some are just glass with the sun’s reflection on it. Please be good to yourself and everyone around you.
Xoxo Coco
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