Collecting the Versions of Me I Dropped Along the Way

I have gained the reputation of being the girl who starts things but never seem to see it through. So the other day my Dad said to me “You have such great ideas… but you don’t have the aggression to keep at it.” and I thought that was funny mainly because he is not wrong. The truth is that if consistency was a board game I’d stop playing midway, pick up my phone and play Candy Crush.

But the thing about life is that we learn and we grow and what I have learned lately is that starting and stopping something doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the end of that thing. Stopping or abandoning something doesn’t mean failure, It could be about growth, timing and sometimes space. The version of me that dumped that project or hobby was obviously not ready but the version of me now might be.

I started blogging in 2020 during the pandemic, full of energy and ideas hoping to be consistent and eventually create something meaningful. But me being me, I got in my head and got distracted by the noises. My focus wandered and my perfectionism told me the blog had to be perfect for me to go on, so I abandoned it like an old toy of a child who got a shinny new toy.

Recently, I find myself revisiting things that once sparked joy; old songs that made me smile, old Rom-Coms that made me giggle and kick my feet and writing. I realise that the version of me that stopped writing wasn’t ready at all, she wasn’t patient, confident or consistent enough to follow through. I would like to think that the version of me writing this now is willing to start all over, accept and enjoy the messy in-between, and keep going even when it’s imperfect.

Leaving something behind shouldn’t be about failing. For me, it meant I was growing and now returning to writing isn’t about pressure anymore its about why I started it in the first place. It’s about revisiting something I once loved but couldn’t nurture at the time. So if you have ever left something behind, it could be a hobby, or a project you once loved with all your heart, it’s never too late to revisit it. What you dumped isn’t lost, it’s just waiting for the braver, more refined, wiser and maybe a sassier version of you to pick it back up. The secret no one ever tells you is that there is magic in that second chance and you get to say “I forgot how… used to make me feel” which to me is one of the best feelings ever.

This post isn’t just words on page, it’s proof that we can start, stop, and start again and maybe, just maybe we will see it through this time.

Xoxo Coco.